Jesus didn’t come for arm candy!!

I think we believe this sometimes.  That Jesus came to clean up the human race, make us all presentable and attractive.  We would never say it.  Not out loud.  Maybe not even think it consciously but the picture is there in our minds.  Jesus and His bride all cleaned up for God and the wedding. 

I found these amazing definitions on line for arm candy.  An attractive person who accompanies another to public gatherings but is not romantically involved with that person. 

We put Jesus wrist bands on and clothing that say Jesus, little fishy’s on the bumper of our cars.  He didn’t come to be arm candy, to make us look good nor did He come to collect arm candy.   He does not need people faking it, looking good on the outside so the world will know that Jesus is my home boy.   He wants to be romantically involved with us.   This relationship is to make us more real not better fakes.  He is seeking people who want to be real and will let Him love them into realness.

Here is another definition from the net:  A date that someone is using not to enjoy their company, but simply to appear important, wealthy or worthy of attention.

Sometimes the Christian culture we live in uses His name and identity to appear important, wealthy and worthy of attention.  And inside we know Him not at all and we are walking dead people pretending to be alive.

I’ve been soaking this week in the upper room discourse(John 13-17) via The Message.  After reading John 15 I had this revelation that Jesus didn’t come to redeem arm candy.  He is not interested in cleaning the outside of the cup but the inside.   “Live in Me.  Make your home in Me just as I do in you.   ….When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic….       Doesn’t that describe the opposite of the definition of arm candy.

I have felt at times as a woman, the Proverbs 31 woman, has been misused and abused to create arm candy.  I see women trying to conform themselves into this image of the Christian woman and it breaks my heart.  Jesus invites us to make ourselves at home in His love.  Come just as you are and let Him tell you who  you really are in Him.  Through an intimate and organic relationship with Jesus arm in arm.  

 Joni

An open life.

Living an open life in our culture can be very difficult.  The pressure to mask can be overwhelming.  This week I received a letter from a sister in Christ who has recently been moved from maximum security prison to a medium facility.  I would like to share a quote from her letter.  “As for me-living right smack in the middle of 120 women drives me even more to live my life loved in my Father because there is NO hiding it behind closed doors.”  I cannot begin to fathom the challenge of that kind of life.  Being a follower of Christ, a home-schooling mom I have felt at times like I live under a  microscope.  All my choices are judged and my relationship to God valued on the basis of that judgment.  Scrutinized in this way can really drive one to put a mask on and hide.  As I live my life loved more and more I care less and less about being judged.  As I experience the freedom that comes with living more loved I feel less compelled to defend my choices.  Discovered this passage in The Message(Luke 12:1-3) this week, Jesus is addressing his disciples warning them about the Pharisee yeast,

“You can’t keep your true self hidden forever; before long you’ll be exposed.  You can’t hide behind a religious mask forever; sooner or later the mask will slip and your true face will be known.”

Have ever felt your mask slip and then the resident anxiety that the slipping of your mask brings?  I think it’s a gift from above that we can’t keep our true selves hidden forever.  I know that now but not the first time.  The first time brought panic.  I didn’t know what true face was gonna look like.  I kind of like her now.  She’s almost pretty.  Her conscience is cleaner than she has ever known.  Being known this way feels like home to me.          Joni

Soul Windows by Alice Wellington

Has it been your experience when walking down the street or in a mall very few people make eye contact?  I’m thinking that most folks like to keep to themselves, carefully encapsulated in their personal bubble or own corner of the world.

On our recent trip to MD Anderson Cancer Hospital in Houston, Texas, I experienced something unusual.  As I walked the halls of MDA I noticed that almost everyone made eye contact, intentionally.  At first I thought is was just a few friendly people, but after two days there, and at least 85 percent eye contact I started to suspect that the population at MD Anderson might have entered the twilight zone, or better yet, found a better “view” on life than the general population.

As I pondered this phenomenon, the thought occurred to me that the folks at MDA are most likely seeing life through unique eyes because of  “the big C”, cancer, which for some of those patients is a death sentence.  But whether through the “patient eyes”, or eyes that have witnessed suffering in the “terminal” daily as care givers, they have a view most don’t.  You might suspect that care givers in such desperate situations on a daily basis might become calloused to the suffering, but amazingly, almost every health professional I met in those sterile hallways met my eyes, and most of them with a smile.  Amazing!  I wondered if perhaps the threat of death all around was a reminder for both sides of how fragile life is.  And I’m thinking that when people realize how fragile life is, connectedness becomes a valuable commodity.  Thus eye contact!

Years ago I met a couple of Native African missionaries.  They were visiting the US to learn more about how to be missionaries in their own back yard.  I asked what they thought of America.  One of them looked me straight in the eye and I’ll never forget the essence of what he said, it was something like “I am most surprised that you Americans drive around in your autos with your windows rolled up.  How do you have conversations with your neighbors when your windows are closed?  In Africa where we live, we don’t have autos, and as we walk to the market we meet our neighbors on our path.  We visit and communicate and know about each other’s lives each day.  If your windows are always closed on your autos, how do you know each other’s lives?”  We learned more about how to be missionaries from them than they learned from us, I’m sure!

If you really wanted to “boil it down”, isn’t connectedness what Christ was all about, where loving our neighbor is knowing our neighbor?  And If you’ve ever wondered why people “have to” suffer, maybe it has something to do with reminding us how fragile life is and how healing connectedness can be.

ENJOY GOD’S GIFTS

As I was looking at some pictures of Alyssa, my 3 yr. old granddaughter, I thought about how much she loves to come to our house.  She loves to play outdoors with the dogs and swing on the swing set (she can do this for hours).  Everything she loves she claims as her own.  It’s her swing set, her dog, her cat, her pool, etc.  In her mind everything we have is also hers.  I know this could be viewed as just a 3 yr olds self-centered way of looking at things, but Papa spoke to me through this.  He said, “I want you to enjoy all that I am and all that I have given you in Christ.  Daughter, I created it to share with you.  I get joy out of your enjoyment of what I provide. Receive it as a gift from me.  All that I have is yours, so enjoy what I give you each day.”

Papa’s Embrace

I just finished reading, The Last Addiction, by Sharon Hersh.  It deals with all types of addiction but it really is about livin’ loved and surrendering our last addiction which is living by self-effort.  The author is herself a counselor who struggles with addiction to work, people pleasing as well as alcohol.  The following excerpt describes me on many days.

“As I have confessed, one of my addictions is workaholism.  I often find myself pushing the needle to Full even though I am clearly on Empty. The result is an exhaustion that can lead to despair. A few weeks ago I woke up in this reality once again. I felt inadequate for the day ahead.  Shame slithered in, reminding me of all my failures, and I started the day crying. Like the “mistaken invalid by the pool, I didn’t think I could get up, and I was exhausted by being in this place for so many years.

So I cried out, “Jesus, I don’t have anything to offer to those who come to see me today.”

I heard Him – in my spirit—say, “I know, but I will sit in the chair with you while you work.”

Then I said, “And, Jesus, I’m lonely.”

And He said, “I know.  I’ll be lonely with you.”

And then I said, “And, Jesus, I looked at my bank account last night, and I’m afraid about the future.”

And He said, “I know, I am your future.”

And then I said my deepest truth in that moment: “And Jesus, . . .I don’t trust You.”

He said, “I know.”

This morning, I took some extra time sitting with Papa on my back porch.  Here is a little of our conversation:

Papa said, “Renee, let me love you.”

“How do I do that Papa?”

“Be still and let Me hold you.”

“I want to. I will. Embrace my soul, Papa.”

“Receive my embrace, child.  All I desire from you is you:  your love and trust, your fellowship. I love your inadequacies, insecurities and even your fears.  These draw you to Me and I love meeting your needs and satisfying your souls desires. I put those longings in you heart to draw you to Me.”

What I love about Papa is that He delights in being my ALL.  My everything.  My completer.  My need meeter.  I love that He has no expectations of me. He only wants to fill me with Himself. I am His child, bearing His image as I relax in His love.

The 23rd Psalm

I am reading another great book.  Its called Finding the Groove, a.k.a. Living Loved.  Robert Gelinas is one of those pastors who is smoking what he’s selling.  Composing a jazz-shaped faith is a book about a passionate, biblical, fully integrated way of looking at life and salvation that will free you to find your own unique groove in the kingdom of God.  This is another book that looks at body life in a unique way.  Again, this is not about whether you attend a Sunday morning venue.  Its about being the church not about going to church.  Life really is an opportunity to co-create with God.  There is not one aspect of life that human beings cannot use their divine capacity for creativity.

In one part of the book he describes the art of improvisation.  Specifically with the scriptures, and he is very careful here, we are not talking about adding anything to the Bible; it is truly complete.  Scripture contains a variety of  literature, prayers, poetry, history to name a few.  What if scripture could inspire and teach us how to compose so that others can see the good news that God is bringing forth in our lives.  He uses the 23 rd Psalm as an example.  Think about it, King David’s vocation was that of a shepherd.  One day he began to make a comparison between what he did for helpless sheep and what God did for him.  “The Lord is my shepherd…..’  His job as a shepherd was now a metaphor for his spiritual life.  Can we do this?  Sure we can.  Then he shares a version written by a friend of his who is a motorcycle mechanic, it is amazing.

I was sitting out at my prayer bench the other morning soaking in some of this book and an audio teaching of Robert Gelinas and as I was present to the moment, I noticed a lot of different bird songs.  Usually the cardinals dominate my back yard, but that day there were others singing the song God placed IN them.  They cannot help but sing that song.  What if the God of the universe that created cardinals and their song, put a unique song into each one of us.  And part of Body Life is each one expressing that song, that special song that only you can sing.  Its a metaphor, I am not talking about actually singing like la la la, but substitute “living” (biblical narrative definition of Life) for “singing” and wa la, we have an ensemble that is really amazing.  I mean  these birds were singing all their own songs and it sounded like an outdoor natural ensemble that was kind of jazzy.

I love this blog space we got smokin, sailin,dancin,floating,gliding,savin cats and now we have groovin.  Ha! I am so dating myself.

My first attempt at writing Psalm 23 from my heart:

God is a perfect fellowship of three and they provide everything I need, so I am less needy of people all the time.  They lead me into sleep when I need it, beauty when my soul is thirsty,paths that I need in order for Jesus to take shape in me.  Even though many paths through this world of woe frighten me, they help me to trust their guidance through the fear into the daylight on the other side. This happens because they are never far away from me.  That security is all I need and it is my only true comfort that never fails.  They have defeated my only true enemy and I get to feast in front of him and his friends.  The Perfect Fellowship lifts my head up when I get tired and weary.  I feel loved very much.  They pursue my friendship day and night, night and day, forever.  I live in their house forever.

Come on you guys try it see what happens and share it with us.  We can be funny too.

Joni

Just a closer walk with you

A music link:  http://www.freshpiano.com/audio/JOEL_ROSENBERGER-Just_a_Clos-4.mp3

Some of you may know of Steve McVey’s ministry called Grace Walk. He has a newsletter called Grace Vine and this month the lead article is about God’s love and learning to live loved, AMAZING.
Wanted to share a great quote from that article:
“As you grow in your understanding of the great love that He has for you, you’ll find that what happens is the love within you will be AWAKENED and MOTIVATED. In response to His love, it will grow and flourish and you’ll find yourself loving Him more and more and, for that matter, even loving everybody else around you more and more too.
A legalistic view on the love relationship we have with our Father shifts the focus away from His goodness and grace and puts the responsibility on us. Grace reminds us that He is the initiator and we are the responders. The Bible says that God loves us, it’s all about His love for us, and when we focus on that, instead of on our love for Him,we will discover that knowing the love of God for us becomes the catalyst for experiencing and enjoying His love in a deeper way than we have ever known. We will find that our won love for Him grows by leaps and bounds.”

I woke up this morning with this song being sung over me.  Jesus was singing to me just a closer walk with me (Joni).  And He was singing a jazz version.   I am reading a Jazz Shaped Faith by Robert Gelinas at the moment and I found an awesome version by Joel Rosenberg, the link is at the top of this blog.  I don’t know why He picked that song but I really like it now.  The more I live in that space that Steve McVey is talking about the stranger my life is getting.  Waking up to Jesus doin a jazz version of an old hymn.  Doesn’t get any better than this.  It could be the heat wave!!!  Either way its livin loved.  Oh Dear Lord Let it be!

Joni Menard

A Work In Progress by Alice Wellington

I have P.A.I. (painting avoidance issues).  Painting rooms in my home is not one of my favorite “chores”.  Some people I know see it as a hobby (sick people!), for me it is a necessary evil.  I think one of the bigger issues I have with painting is the prep work and time.  It’s like I HAVE to get the room in pretty good shape before painting which requires a lot of detail work, or the after-painting clean up and “corrections” can require a lot more time and energy, which just adds to my misery.  So whenever I contemplate updating my house paint, I wish I could just snap my fingers because my happy place is a “finished” room, not a room in progress.  (If only I knew Samantha Stevens personally…)  Anyway…

When we first built our house in ’93 we did the popular thing and put wallpaper in WAY too many places.  Now, 16 years later, it’s peeling off and looking a little retro, so the first step in preparing to paint means OFF MUST COME THE WALLPAPER (ugh).  (You won’t appreciate that “ugh” unless you’ve actually stripped off wallpaper!)  I only have one room left to de-paper at this point, but it’s the largest room where that stuff still hangs.

After the wallpaper is down, the walls are pretty smooth and somewhat boring, I might add.  So I learned how to texture which can actually be a fun part of the prep!

The next prep thing is taping all the things I don’t want paint on.  If the tape is not stuck down very well the paint will seep underneath the tape and get on the wood or whatever the tape is there to protect.  That detail requires special attention, or clean up is again prolonged!

The final prep step is “cutting in”, in other words painting the corners with a brush where the roller can’t go or won’t go without leaving paint where I don’t want it.  I typically don’t paint our white ceilings, so it’s tedious work cutting in paint on the wall next to the ceiling!

I tackled our dining room a couple of weeks ago.   It wasn’t a huge job because the wallpaper was only on the bottom third of the wall.  But there was a lot of wood to tape and protect.

I was surprised to find that as I was preparing our dining room for painting it didn’t seem like the chore it usually did.  I actually had fun and the prep work (removing the wallpaper, texturing, taping, AND cutting in) were actually some of my favorite parts this time.  “What’s wrong with me,” I wondered?

During the mindless roller painting the next day, I had plenty of time to contemplate my strange new P.A. (painting attitude), and it occurred to me that over the years I’ve actually gained appreciation for the prep work, where in the past my focus had been almost exclusively on the end product.  So peeling off the wallpaper was, instead of the dreaded messy chore, now more like removing an “eyesore”, something that had lost its value and needed to be replaced.  Taping was no longer the time-wasting step getting in the way of progress, but more like lovingly protecting and ensuring that the final look would be clean and appealing to the eye.  And that backbreaking, tedious “cutting-in” (especially up high) was worth the pain so that the details that would hopefully be noticeable were so only as pleasing details and not as distracting mistakes.  I think one other thing that made this more fun than before was that I had a pretty clear picture in my head of what I wanted this room to look like, and the extra effort was going to be worth it all.

Another thought occurred to me that day while I was painting, and that was how this prep work in painting paralleled my journey with God.  Most of my life I’ve been rather impatient with my spiritual growth and maturity.  I’ve wanted to change bad habits like RIGHT NOW!, and see “progress” in my intimacy with God like YESTERDAY!  I guess my goal had been to be some “Super Christian” overnight!  But like the prep work in painting, God has been doing prep work in me.  He’s been removing the “wallpaper” that is no longer “satisfying”, like my impatience, criticism and arrogance.  He’s been adding “texture” to my life through various experiences to keep my life from being boring.  He’s been lovingly “taping” areas of my life that need His protection, like my heart and mind.  He’s been “cutting in” details like compassion and wisdom where when they are noticeable it’s obvious He’s the Author and not me!  And best of all, He’s been showing me a pretty clear picture of what I will look like and it’s not the “Super Christian” I had in mind, instead it is a picture of……  Him (love, joy, patience…I Cor 13:4-7 & Gal 5:22-23)!

To see His prep work each day in my life is like watching the progression of a flower blooming, or a butterfly coming out of it’s cocoon.  I know the “finished product” will be awesome, but there is something very satisfying now in daily walking in growth, daily walking with God.

Relaxing into God’s Love

The Livin’ Loved conference with our friend and mentor, Wayne Jacobsen, was over the top! It was so much fun hanging out with him and his wife, Sarah; getting to know them, personally. One thing Wayne said that really stuck with me was that we ”relax into God’s love”. That sounded so easy and freeing.

A couple days after Wayne and Sarah had returned to California, I took my three year old granddaughter, Alyssa, swimming. Last summer we spent a lot of time together in the pool, but this was our first time this year. Her mother sent her one-piece suit with a built-in flotation device and arm “floaties”, as well. There was just no way she could not float! However, when I tried to get her to float on her back, she didn’t resist, but then, she didn’t relax, either. Even though she had experienced the floats holding her up, she was still rigid and tried to hold her head up. I told her to relax and trust that I would not let her sink. I demonstrated for her the technique of floating. I explained that even if she didn’t have her floaties on, the water would hold her up, if she could just relax.

Later, I remembered what Wayne had said about learning to relax into God’s love. I realized that when it comes to relaxing into God’s love, I am much like Alyssa; trying to float. Wanting to, yet afraid I’ll sink. Instead, I sometimes trust in man-made strategies to give me a sense of security or depend on another person to meet my needs! Little by little, Papa is winning my trust as I let go, put my head back and relax. Relaxing into Papa’s love is like trusting the water to hold me up. When I relax into Papa’s love,  I experience His affection as a present reality. I’m reminded that His love is constant, always there to hold me, so I relax, and let go of my concerns and worries.

So what does it look like on the inside, to relax? I think it is when I stop trying to earn, deserve or merit God’s love and just rest in it. It starts with me acknowledging, in my thoughts, that Papa really does love me just as I am, without me doing anything. It is living in the awareness that He has always loved me and has always been with me. I live in the atmosphere of His love everyday. I am as loved as I will ever be! The more I get to know Papa, the more I experience His love, the more it transforms me and sets me free to be like Jesus. The more I relax in Papa’s love the easier it is to love others.

Relax! This is my word for this season of my journey. Relax! Life is not a test. It’s a conversation with the one who loves me more than anyone else on earth. Relax! Stop trying to please Him and simply trust Him. Relax! Papa knows. I can trust Him with me.  He knows my needs, my future, my struggles, my weaknesses, circumstances and my fears. Little by little, He is setting me free, on the inside, from my own agenda, allowing me to embrace His agenda and live loved. So, I guess for today, in this moment, I can relax and enjoy the journey. How about you? – Renee

The Bitter Pill by Alice Wellington

I like cats. That may turn some readers off right a way, but hang out with me for a minute – you might like this.

We have two – one-year-old kittens, a brother and sister duet creatively named Brother and Sister. They have preciously entertained us for the last year and in the process have stolen our hearts! They have become more than pets, they are really more like family. And they’ve adopted us, too!

Last week Brother became seriously ill. We don’t normally like to spend money at the vet, but Brother is worth every penny! So I took him to the vet. $210 and 20 pills later my mission in life became saving his life (and our investment).

Getting a cat to take pills, however, is like lassoing a tornado with claws. There has to be a secret to it, but I apparently don’t know it. That poor cat survived my tortuous attempts to shove that pill down his throat each of the prescribed days, and somehow still remained affectionate with me. I couldn’t believe it. I was a little concerned that I was offending my little friend (even though it was for his good) and that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me by the time the medicine was gone. But Brother seemed to realize at some level that I was on his side, he trusted me, and he became even more affectionate toward me! Looking back over the past year of my feeding him, petting him, and playing with him, it’s evident that our daily relationship created a tighter bond than I realized. We became good friends and he amazingly allowed that bond to triumph over the pain I was now inflicting on him.

It got me to thinking about God. My cat story may not be the perfect analogy, but I think there are some truths to be gleaned here. There were times when I’ve had to take some “bitter pills”. I’ve gone through some pretty rough stuff during which I was tempted to feel frustrated with and even blame God for my circumstances. At times I assumed He was mad at me, and possibly punishing me. Yet over the past few years I’ve gotten to know Him as my loving affectionate Friend, instead of the demanding task Master I’d grown up believing Him to be.

I now know that when life gets tough, He’s really on my side – not against me, I know that His intentions toward me are always good – never bad, and He’s lovingly and patiently nurturing my trust in Him daily, no matter what life brings my way! I don’t have to like the “bitter pills”, and I don’t know if He’s actually the One administering those pills, but I do know this, even if He is, His purpose is perfect and wise and I trust Him! Because of Who I’m experiencing Him to be now, I’m drawn to Him affectionately, not always during the darkest times, but daily in our friendship! That trust triumphs over the “bitter pills”!